So Thursday for some reason I was in a Genesis kinda mood. I spent all day listening to anything by Phil Collins. Don't ask me why, I just did.

So here I am around 5pm doing some mad chair dance moves to

When all of a sudden I hear some noises outside my window. I lean my chair back to check but see nothing, so I continue my sitting running man.

A few seconds later the noise is back, so I lower the volume to try and zero in on it. Now I can tell its coming from behind my bar, and this is no regular noise... is the sound of SHARP nails RIPPING through wood!!!

I get up and carefully walk towards the bar....

It sounds like its either something trying to get into the house or something trying to get out.. but its definitely something... and something BIG and FEROCIOUS!

Now I'm a lover off all animals. I can't say any of them "scare" me, but what I don't like is shit jumping out at me... animal or human... I've become quite jumpy over the years (probably do to the fear of Nancy walking in on me while romanticizing... myself ) so the only thing that was freaking me out was the idea of waking up at night only to find a rat nibbling on my goatee. So this meant I needed to find whatever this CREATURE was before bedtime.

We've had plenty of mice in this house, so we've gotten pretty good at capturing them. I prefer the catch and release method, while Tony is a strong believer in the "whatever kills slower and more painful" kinda method. But in this case since this thing sounded about 10 times bigger than a mouse, I knew I might have to resort to the "Lights Out" approach.

Nancy was at Loblaws so I gave her a call, and told her we might have a visitor. Of course she starts freaking out on the phone. I tell her to grab some glue traps (that's as far as I go with extermination, it gives me one last chance to save them if they aren't TOO stuck) She then reminds me that they have had their own visitor upstairs.

There has been a Raccoon that for some reason has been sleeping its days away outside her window. It doesn't find shelter like normal Raccoons, nope this guy curls up like a ball right over the garage outside her window in plain site. So now I'm starting to wonder if this Raccoon has made its way inside the walls and is now trying to get inside the house. And it didn't help matters that I had seen this video...

At this point thinking its the Raccoon I realize a glue trap is definitely not going to help. I tell her to forget it and hang up the phone.

So now I know that I have to man up, and face this MONSTER once and for all. He needs to know that he does not belong in this house, especially down here... who cares what he does upstairs.

I head over to my desk and prepare for battle, and by battle I mean grabbing my camera, flashlight, head lamp, a recycling box and a drum stick (no not a chicken leg, a real drum stick, god you guys take me for an idiot!)

At this point the CLAWING is getting super loud, but every time I move it stops so pinpointing this BEHEMOTHS location was going to take everything I ever learned in the art of NINJA!

I slowly creep towards the bar and stop once close enough to hear him better. As I stand there, I will not lie, I was terrified. The thought of being behind the bar where there is no room to maneuver and surrounded by glass shelves, having to opening up a cupboard and face this RABID animal with FANGS of STEEL made me a little tense, but I knew this had to be done. If not for my sake, then for the sake of the children living upstairs. And with that in mind I built up enough courage to round the corner and enter the SAVAGE BEASTS new LAIR.

PLEASE BE ADVISED WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE MAY BE

DISTURBING

AND CONTAINS

FOUL LANGUAGE

.

(the clicking noise is from my camera. The beast was now being silent)


To be Continued....